One thing remains, I am confident in His character

I believe in God because I know that there is only one thing that is constant and never failing is His love for me.

If this earth and these things were all there is to living then what a sad life it will be to not strive for something greater than just what we can touch and see. Especially for those of us who have been dealt a crappy hand of cards.

I believe not because of what people tell me to believe but because I know the longing in my heart that I cannot describe, that only has a touch of satisfaction when I feel close to Him whether being obedient or just thinking of Him.

I am not perfect and nor will I ever claim to be, but I know that His love will never fail me. I make mistakes that disappoint Him and I am so sorry for that. I know He wants me to do more and knows what I am capable of doing.

God is not church! God is in the hearts of those who show His love to others. His love will never fail; He will never give up on me or you… Everyone else on earth, family, and friends loved ones will let you down they are human and we will forever be flawed.

I promise because I know it to be true, I feel it in the inmost part of my heart.

When I pray for you I pray with the power that God has promised me. Science is not the answer to love from God and the two concepts are like water and oil. I pray trusting that God knows what is best (whatever that is)… And if you try to see past the science that others have used to cloud your heart you may find yourself talking to Him and he will listen. You can plea to Him boldly and passionately, your wrongs he can make right… those pieces that took years to scatter he will help you pick them up one at a time and He will do it not judging you.

May I remind you I am not perfect, I make mistakes and I am not a good example of a good person at all but I know that He loves me just the way I am. I don’t have to hide from Him even though I am ashamed He already knows what I’ve done.

So I pray that if I continue to show you kindness and love in return you will see that it is God who gave it to me to share.

In the Bible it states that “He has started a good work in me and He will follow it through until completion” Phil 1:6

I laugh sometimes thinking…..man He has a lot of work to do in me…but He is the man for the task and I believe He can do it….as long as I let him.

Jesus Mad Libs

Had a major rationalization that I am my own worst enemy.

So many times we get caught up in our own feelings we allow it to limit us from our capabilities. We have fear, doubt, could have, wish I were, must be nice attitude….. It blinds us from the truth…Jesus Christ is enough for all of that. I repeat it for my benefit…Jesus Christ is enough!! Just as much as we beat ourselves with the same crap over and over again we need to repeat the truth…

Jesus meets any expectations that others can’t…

Just like in Mad Libs, you know… back in the day all you do is fill in the Blanks. Now use it with the name that represents truth….Jesus!!

Here is an example….

I look to _________to make me feel accepted and loved. When  ________ approval is all I seek I feel complete and valuable with a purpose. When I am reminded of my personal faults ___________ sees it all, and yet still loves me. Not only my personal flaws but my deep wrongs and mistakes and __________ forgives me.  Even when many others will let me down, ridicule me, not accept me, not like me, never see the hard work I do,  __________ always will.

I think I have just realized all this time I have been living a lie of doing for the acceptance of family, friends and other people in the community, always ending up empty. All that I am looking for is in Jesus Christ my savior and in Him I will find all that I am looking for in others. Anything that I have put in His place is a sin (Anything that separates us from God is a sin). When I fill the empty expectations and feelings up with Him I will find completeness.

My family doesn’t appreciate me…but Jesus does!

Work doesn’t see all my effort….but Jesus does!

What I want my spouse to be….Jesus is!

What I wish I was and try to be….Jesus loves the real me!

**You can create your own Mad Libs **

Father I pray to you pleading that when the day is long you continue to make me strong knowing that Jesus is enough. Instill that truth in my heart father and don’t let me forget. I try but will never make it since I put so many novelties in His place, Remove these expectations I have of others and of myself, I trust that your son, my savior is enough!

"my heart will sing no other name"

Living in God's Love

Romans 5:5 states that the love of God is poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He gave us. What this means is that when the Lord, in the form of the Holy Spirit, comes to dwell in our hearts through our faith (believing) in His son Jesus Christ, He brings love with Him,( 1John4:8) because God is love.

Let’s ask ourselves what are we doing with the love of God that has been given to us?

 Do we reject it because we don’t think we are worthy enough to be loved?

Do we believe God is like others who have hurt us?

Or do we receive his love by faith, believing that He is greater than our weakness and failures?

Allow the love God brought into your heart be a part of you and who you are. You cannot get away from yourself. You will be with you for the rest of your life. Have a relationship with yourself and ask God to be involved as well. It is important that we have peace with ourselves and accept the love God has for us into our hearts. Receive it, Believe it and enjoy living in the freedom of the love that is in you and the love God has for you.

Staying on Task

It is so convenient to get discouraged and worn thin with doing GODS WORK (so we think). Sometimes we get so busy doing God’s work we tend to forget to invite Him along with us. If that is the case then we are not doing His work but our own. If we are doing our own work then “yes” you will tire and wear thin.  The bible gives many examples of how our strength comes from God so therefore any work that is ordered by Him then you would assume He will give you the energy to do it.

Phil 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”

I don’t think it is the fact that we can’t do it or forget God is our rock and our strength I feel that as we get so busy doing we forget what it will take to get it done.

1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on Him because he cares for you.

Colossians 3:23 Whatever you do , work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord and not for man.

Phil 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Proverbs 3:5 Lean on, Trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.

And when we feel completely overwhelmed we are instructed to redirect our thinking…

Psalm 143:4- 5 My spirit grows faint within me; my heart within me is dismayed. I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hand has done.

So in other words if your swallowed by life and hanging on by a thread, fix your thoughts on the good things that God has done or provided if you can’t see what He is doing now.

You may not be where you want to be but aren’t you glad you’re not where you were before you had LIFE?

We must be Careful in how we WALK, Seek Wisdom from the Lord, and Be Alert to the Lord’s guidance and opportunities to allow Him to love others through us. (CWA)

WE are given a great task issued from our Father and any task He has given us, as long as HE is invited every step of the way will be successful. The task will be fruitful and your joy in doing it will be abundant. However, If He isn’t invited, if you are doing the work for men and not the Lord, if you grumble and not humble. The task will be worrisome and difficult for you to bear.

My Lord said to me.".I love you More"

As His love penetrates my heart I find my moments looking to His discretion and seeking His direction.

 I climb into the mountains seeking Gods creation desperately looking for His explanation in this beautiful tapestry yet longing for my father’s correction.

 What I see is only beauty and peace.

 I watch man and woman become one in unity, taking vows of Love; at that moment I am reminded of the Love that originally consumed me.

I am reminded of the death of my God who said He loved me MORE. My God said “I LOVE YOU MORE!!!”

As I look onto my Lords creation I see the wonder and Majesty of His splendor….

Then as I am reminded of my faults and ask for forgiveness He tells me “I Love you More”..my SAVIOR said “I Love you More” How could You possibly!! … I cry!!

 All my sins, all that I’ve done wrong!!

Those moments I tried but wasn’t strong ….

Once more I hear in His sigh as he picked me up, brushed off my knees my Father said “I love you More”

As he brushed off my knees he saw inside of me only the things He knew I could be.

Why?

Because all I see is what I am not, the battles I in my heart Jesus fought but in my human nature lost.

How great is the Lord our God!

I am not measured by my shortcomings and faults.

I can rise above all the negative statements, condemnation and plots.

When my Lord saw me He said in spite of me … “I love you More”

Not because I love Him BUT because HE loved me first His blood is what quenches my thirst.

It runs deep in my veins and His love is what grasps my desperate claims and breaks me from my chains…

My Father, my Lord and my God said “I love you more” and with that it is HE I adore…

I am in awe and in LOVE with my God....

long obedience

From my reading “RED MOON RISING” (Some are my own words, some not) But all AWESOME to share with others

The communication in my reading was in reference to Obedience to the Lord… as described in the text from the book (Red Moon Rising)“Long Obedience” is the process of being obedient. I have struggled with this particular area in my life because sometimes the waiting would seem as spiritual stagnation, a blah state, or dry spell; as some may call it. So as I gathered some clarity through reading, maybe it wasn’t a problem as I saw it but a time for me to dive deeper in my relationship with God by being obedient. Which leads me to why I wanted to share…

Hardened Heart
At the time we are not aware of the process but pleasure pain and sin harden our hearts or numb our hearts. Even though we are unaware God still sees this and cannot look away. “He loves us too much and has called us to too much to allow us to settle for less than full spiritual health” In Hebrews 12:10 it states that God “disciplines us for our good, that we may share in His holiness” God has to take our hardened heart and make it feel again. He uses all types of circumstances, scripture, books, situations and encounters. He may use pain either of grater loss or a simpler experience to wake up your heart. “But there can be no movement in our lives until we are confronted by our current state.”

Wrestling
Wrestling begins when one tries to make sense of this inner turmoil. We will search for words to describe these confused feelings. We will seek Gods answers by studying scripture, praying, reading books, and listening to worship music. With this we tend to debate on what it is that God wants us to do. “God is watching all this new activity with delight.” Yet God still says nothing.

Waiting
When God gives you the words for what has been bothering you and stirring in your heart. You have some understanding to what questions you have and can begin to speak clearer to God. The answers may not be evident but the questions are beginning to form. You have some direction to the original confused and hurting thoughts. Your dialog with God is developing and you are growing. You are waiting and watching for God to show.

Blessing
God steps in. He watched as you sought answers. He delighted as you prayed to Him and had conversations with Him. He was sowing seeds in your heart in order to soften it. Humble prayer on your knees, crying and questions is now that God steps in to bless you. He brings to your questions and wrestling clarity and light. You now look to Him in faith, in obedience and follow through.

Then you get to start the process over again.

“So I am waiting on God, and God is waiting on me to see if I am waiting for Him or wanting things from Him.”

Waiting in Faith

IT is beautiful to have the feeling of the spirit with you. That awesome feeling I would feel in prayer and in worship especially when my relationship became a matter of my own heart after the Lord. Those “feelings-moments” became far and few in-between and I longed for it. So I would do as many “religious” things I could to feel the Spirit again. Little did I know he never left me, then I came to understand that the “feeling” not felt is not a bad thing as it can be a growth in faith thing. Even though I didn’t feel the Spirit I continued to pray and read the Word. I continued to listen for the Spirit of the Lord to guide me. I wanted to hear the Lord speak to me so bad I began to think it was me internally speaking to myself. Until…. (insert awesome story)

Two weeks ago on Friday I was reading and praying and all the sudden I had a thought tell me to do the drive through difference at Mc D’s. (Y’all know what that is right? It’s when you pay for the meal behind you in a drive through) At this point I began to have dialogue with myself.

“That would be nice if I even wanted to go to McD’s but I don’t want to.” “You remember the guy from NLC who came to church for that it would be a real nice thing to do to do something to lead someone to church or even Christ” “But I don’t want to get drive through or even breakfast”

Then my son came downstairs; “Mom can I go to work with you and then can we get some breakfast on the way.” I replied  UGH “Yes Daniel” now I know I have to do the drive through difference.

So when we go to Mc D’s I steadily look at the people behind me thinking “they probably already know Christ, they are probably ordering for the whole office, I want to keep my money I have been saving all week.” But the entire time I have conversations with myself my son is watching thinking I am crazy.  “I feel so strongly that I need to do this but why am I even arguing with myself… I am gonna do it, the thought came I am going to act on it…so be it.”

I asked the man at the window  “How much is the bill for the car behind me I would like to pay for it”

Daniel says “mom that’s crazy don’t do it that is stupid” – I respond “Daniel I have to I promise, I have had this thought all morning and even though it may be crazy I think God is telling me to so I have to.” So I did (btw it was only a couple of bucks)

I immediately wanted to get my food and leave because I felt a little weird, especially, what if they ask “why? - Do I know you?” Responding- “To God be the Glory or Jesus Loves You!” seems hard to say to a stranger at a drive through. I felt more comfortable wanting to just get my food and go, go quickly. Then the McD’s person said pull up you have to wait for your food. Great! I thought, so I pull up. The car behind me did pull up when they got their food and rolled down the window. Immediately I thought to myself #Awkward

The lady and her son of course said thank you and that it was a blessing. She stated that she wanted to do that same thing for the person behind her that the Lord was leading her to do it but she didn’t know how. She even said she was checking out my church sticker on my car, that something was drawing her to me and my van. They shared with me that they have a food pantry ministry in Indian Trail if I would like to look at it. I didn’t cause at that point I would be late for work. I encouraged them to give me their number and I was going to give them my card. She urged me to come look at it..ok.. I thought “I will have to make it quick, so I’m not late for work”. There was no traffic on HWY 74 at all. I was able to pull on the hwy go down a block or so and then cross over the hwy to the side street I was going to. (When is there ever NO traffic on 74 especially on a Friday morning at 9am – REALLY?) – God can not only move mnts but he can stop traffic as well J

So I get there and it is a thrift store and food pantry ministry. The kind lady was explaining to me that they deliver the food at the same time I am sharing with her that I am creating a prayer room at my daycare. She introduced me to her husband who also had a ministry of a prayer walk in the woods close by, but they moved to this location a few months ago. They had beautiful crosses that I purchased and then her husband spoke to me about a cross at his old ministry location. A HUGE cross! So he donated it to June Bug’s prayer room and it was so awesome. (we later cut it down that day and it sits in the prayer room at June Bug’s NOW – in hopes to be an instrument for others to grow in their relationship with God).

 I was high on Christ the whole day! I was just in awe of how he does speak to us and when we listen spectacular things and connections can happen. I still feel led to help the Common Things ministry if only to volunteer and will follow-up with them and do something to help. The initial meeting was a delightful series of events that the Spirit orchestrated. I was so excited that it was more than a “feeling” it was a back and forth - instruction- respond – result. If that is not evidence I don’t know what is. It was small. No angel from heaven and revealed himself but the spirit was there and working.

God taught me that day that he has been speaking to me all along it’s not that I couldn’t hear him I just wasn’t listening to him. Even in this example I even argued with the fact it was God thinking it was just me talking to myself. So God can work awesome things through us and use us as the tool we were intended to be if we listen to him when he speaks. The moment from feeling to feeling or event where the Spirit does something to say “I am here” knowing the Spirit is there with you, as you continue to be faithful by prayer, reading the Word, listening for Him, and good acts is FAITH. The waiting in-between and still seeking Him is FAITH. He will show up but the important thing is what you are doing in the meantime as you wait for Him was the revelation for me. In addition to that awesome way God showed up Daniel, my son, was there to see the whole thing!